Sometimes

It was recently “Bell Let’s Talk Day” and the Bell videos talk about how just one person asking how someone was doing, changed things for them.
Suggesting that it just takes one person declaring that they’re there for someone can change the struggling person and make everything better.

But here’s the thing that I’ve learned the hard way:

Sometimes it’s the happiest guy in the room.
Sometimes it’s the guy who is always the life of the party.
Sometimes it’s the one that everyone knows and everyone loves.
Sometimes it’s that guy who makes everyone feel like they’re his best friend.
The guy who had just agreed to be someone’s best man.

Sometimes even if he’s in love and happy, and he tells that person “forever isn’t long enough. You and me, we’re gonna have two forevers.”
Sometimes there’s no way of knowing until it happens and you look back and see things that make you go “oh that’s why he said that….”
Sometimes all you have is hindsight because that person who everyone loves, that person who you love, is so good at hiding their true sadness and depression and heartache that you just don’t know until the day he doesn’t go to work and he doesn’t come home and nobody has heard from him since he dropped you off at your car and you didn’t kiss him goodbye for the only time since your first kiss.
And 6 days later, surrounded by his friends, getting ready for another day of searching the province, you get the news that you won’t ever get another chance for another goodbye kiss.

Sometimes you just don’t know to ask.

And sometimes that makes you feel more guilt than you thought possible, even though you shouldn’t. Because you can’t do something you didn’t know you should.

Toolkit for people who have been impacted by a suicide loss.