Over the years, I’ve written my thoughts on Remembrance Day on Facebook so I thought I’d share them here
2011
Today is a special day set aside to remember those who have served and continue to serve their country.
Today we remember the sacrifices that have been made and honor those who continue to make sacrifices so that people can have freedom.
Today, like every day, I am thankful for each night my husband gets to sleep in our bed because it means he’s not away for weeks of training or months on a tour. It means that he gets one more day to spend with his growing family and we get one more day with him.
Today I am thankful for the supportive community of other military wives and families for being there to help make each other feel a little less alone when we are so far from the rest of our families and our soldiers can’t be with us.
I am thankful that there are people in the world like my husband who choose to risk their lives and sacrifice time with their loved ones so that strangers can have peace and freedom.
I can never forget…
2012
Last year around this time, I went home to Nova Scotia.
While there, I attended my youngest nieces Remembrance Day Ceremony/Presentation.
Her class put on a little play and my niece had the lead role of a child who was missing her Daddy because he was far away fighting for the rights of others in the name of his country.
It was very well written and very well done.
I was pregnant with First Born at the time and all I could think about was that for my niece and all of those watching, it was just a story. A little girl playing a part.
For me, it was a look into my future.
It was knowing that someday, more likely than not, I am going to be living with a child feeling those same things.
Because we live in a home where my children’s Daddy will be leaving.
He will go far away and risk his life for the rights of others.
And we will be left to wait and hope, pray and have faith that he will come back to us.
The Tank in my belly 2011 Photo Credit: Alicia Trimble at The Reflective Lens
On this Remembrance Day, we remember all of those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom and for the freedom of others.
I also will take this time, among many others throughout the year, to be thankful for the sacrifices still made today.
The sacrifices of our soldiers, of their spouses and of their children.
Lest we Forget.
2015
Growing up in Nova Scotia, we always had Remembrance Day off; off from school, stores all closed, the radios and TV channels shared a ceremony and we did the moment of silence at 11am.
Then I met my husband and when I moved to Ontario, the day care I worked at stayed open.
The schools stayed open.
Everyone worked.
It was very strange to me and now that I was the girlfriend of a soldier, Remembrance Day seemed even more important to me to pay respects on that day.
Now, I live in Quebec and I asked a local friend if the schools stayed open on Remembrance Day.
She was surprised.
Her answer was “Why wouldn’t they be?”
In different parts of this country, Remembrance Day means different things to different people.
Some grow up being taught that it’s a special day to take pause and show respect to those who have fought for our rights, for the rights of others, for peace and safety.
Some are not.
Now I am married to that Canadian Soldier and we share two children.
He has been to war.
He has lost friends while fighting for the rights of others; for the peace and freedom of others.
He teaches basic training now and tries to instill in them things that us civilians don’t understand.
I couldn’t be prouder to be a Canadian.
I couldn’t be prouder to be the wife of of a Canadian Soldier.
And today, at 11am, I will stand with my children in silence, at a ceremony where my husband also stands in his uniform.
Proudly and silently thanking all soldiers past, present and future, for choosing to do what they do so others can do what they choose.
So others can be safe.
To my son, they’re just “Daddy’s work clothes”, but someday he will realize that those greens symbolize so much more.
Lest we forget.
Remembrance Day Ceremony at Garrison St Jean
Photo Credit: Lori-Lee Regimbald
2016
Remembrance Day
A day to pause and honor all those who have not come home. To show respect for those who sign not only their names, but their lives on that line, putting country and strangers ahead of themselves for the rest of their lives.
Many, like my husband, are able to come home after war.
But so many do not come home; so many leave their families to go fight for peace and the lives of others, and they don’t come home to them.
Many also lose the battle after they’ve come back to their home soil.
For all of those men and women, we stand in silence. We respect. We remember.
We will not let it be in vain.
Lest we forget.
2017
The tomb of the Unknown Soldier
A monument in Ottawa to pay respects to all of the soldiers who were not identified after passing. Taken by me in 2009
I’ve been trying to explain the importance of Remembrance Day to the kids, but lately when I talk their eyes kind of glaze over and they’re thinking of other things like crackers and dollies.
So yesterday I searched YouTube for some kid friendly Remembrance Day videos and they watched a few.
Middle Born was fairly unfazed but First Born… He came out into the kitchen looking for crackers with a quivering chin and tears in his eyes. So we sat together and talked and cried. We discussed how sometimes there are bullies in the world, and other people choose to stand up to those bullies to fight for the rights and freedom of others.
Because not everyone in the world has the right to choose who runs their country, or go to school, or feel safe and they need someone to stand up for them.
How his Daddy is one of those people.
He’s been to war two times, but before we knew him, before he was a daddy, so we don’t remember.
He was very lucky he got to come home but some of his friends didn’t, and their families miss them.
Some soldiers even die while getting ready for war in training and on courses.
Remembrance Day is the day when we make sure we talk about them, even if we didn’t know them, and remember them, honor them, and thank them. There will be a whole minute where nobody talks because everyone in their hearts and minds will be thanking them.
And the Poppies… we wear them to show that we remember and we won’t forget.
And then Middle Child asked if after Remembrance Day, it’s going to be her birthday…
Baby steps.
I tried looking for photos of the husband in Afghanistan to show the kids and to share with you all. I couldn’t find any. In this day and age, digital photos don’t get printed and then laptops die and those captured moments get lost.
But we will remember.
My Husband during a training exercise in 2019
Photo Credit: 2RCHA Photography as shown via Facebook (no longer available)
2018
Honor your military, yes.
Respect military families, yes.
They all make sacrifices, yes.
But today isn’t about that.
Today is the day to honor, respect, acknowledge and remember the ones who came home in boxes carried by their best friends.
The ones who never saw their families again.
The ones who never had a chance to have families of their own.
The ones who literally gave their lives for the rights and freedoms of strangers.
We will remember.
Thank you.
2019
Remembrance Day has always moved me. Knowing that there were so many who died, so many families who were left behind, so many unlived lives and unanswered questions.
Since meeting my husband and becoming a military wife, the meaning of Remembrance Day has evolved.
My husband did two tours during the Afghanistan war. He was in the middle of his second one the first time we met, but we weren’t really in touch until his return in 2009. I don’t know what he was like before those tours. I don’t know if he changed, if what he witnessed there changed him. He doesn’t talk about it a lot and I don’t push. But I do know he lost friends. His brother was there as well and was injured, he was medically released three years later.
I’ve learned over my time as a military spouse that some wounds aren’t visible. Some wounds take their time to show, and many soldiers have lost their lives post war, post trauma.
I’ve also learned that not all soldiers are killed during their service at war. Every tasking, every training, every exercise brings a possibility that a soldier can be injured.
In 2014, my husband’s CO was killed during a routine exercise in Wainwright. Their family lived in Petawawa, as did we. He left behind a wife who was originally from Nova Scotia, and three children, a boy and two girls, 14, 16 & 18. I won’t tell you her story but you can read it yourself, and her life since then, at The Goat Rodeo on Facebook.
I remember when it happened, my husband wasn’t on that exercise only because we had gotten our posting message and he had other things to prepare for. But hearing the story, learning of the three children left behind… it hit me: some day that could be us. Any day, really. At any time, any exercise. Any week in the field where I can here the *booms* from our house.
It could be us.
Fast forward only a few months later, while posted to St Jean Quebec, another soldier was killed. Intentionally hit by a car while in uniform at a mall parking lot.
It could be us.
And not three days later, another soldier, this one on guard in Ottawa, shot and killed leaving his very young son behind.
It could be us.
If that realization weren’t enough, learning how many soldiers have taken their own lives, some of whom I’d met myself, because they aren’t able to get the help they needed to deal with past trauma.
It could be any one of us.
Remembrance Day is a day to remember all of those who have fought for the rights of others. Those who have chosen to put their lives at risk every single day in uniform, to be the power for those who have none. To follow the commands of people of higher rank, regardless of their thoughts on those commands.
They miss birthdays, anniversaries and holidays.
They miss births of their own children and the chance to say goodbye to their ill loved ones.
They spend days in the cold damp wilderness, training, without sleep or showers or warm food, to be stronger and to be ready for when they are needed.
They go to war and they help with floods, fires, and earthquakes.
And sometimes they don’t make it home.
Sometimes that last goodbye, that last hug or kiss, is truly the last one,
and we never know when that will be us.
To all of those who have fought for our rights,
and for the rights of others;
fought for people they will never meet:
we thank you.
To those who didn’t get to come home,
who never got to say goodbye,
and never got that one last kiss:
we thank you.
We will remember you.
We appreciate you.
We are grateful for you
For those who need this information, a fellow Military Spouse shared this today:
We’ve lost a few of the military community recently to private battles, so in anticipation of tomorrow – which can be hard for some (Vancouver Sun Article) – I want to ensure some key resources are on hand.
Most importantly, the free and confidential Canadian Forces Member Assistance Program (CFMAP) 24/7 hotline: 1-800-268-7708
“This line is staffed 24 hours a day, 365 days a year by a fully bilingual, trained counsellor. The role of the telephone counsellor is to refer the client to a counsellor in private practice for face-to-face counseling, and if the client is in crisis, to provide counselling over the phone.”
Additional information on Mental Health resources for active duty & retired members and their families are available here:
CFMAP: Canadian Forces Member Assistance Program (CFMAP)
All Programs: Military Family Services
More Info: You Are Not Alone
Thank you for all that you’ve done and all that you continue to do.
Don’t forget to take care of you.
You are so important.
2020
This Remembrance Day looks different for a number of reasons.
This year, because of Covid19, many families have had to stay apart.
Many children haven’t be able to see their grandparents.
Many adults haven’t been able to see their parents.Most people didn’t know, or don’t know still, when they’ll be able to see them again.
This is military life for so many families…
Some families have to say goodbye to their Dad/Mom, husband/wife, son/daughter, on a moments notice, without any idea when they will see them again.
Some of us get notice.
Sometimes we know months in advance when our loved one is going to have to leave us for weeks or months at a time, and if we’re lucky, we’ll know when they’ll get back, even if that date changes several times.
Our children miss their parent.
Spouses solo parent (which is damn hard, let me add) and miss their partner.
And not everyone comes back.
Sometimes it’s the last time we’ll hug them and kiss them and tell them we love them.
We don’t ever have the luxury of taking it for granted.
Every time we say goodbye, whether it’s a field week, or a month on an exercise, or a few months on a course, or a year overseas… we know there’s a chance they won’t come home.
Today we remember all of those who haven’t come home.
Those who didn’t get to see their families grow.
Those who didn’t get to have families at all.
Those who gave the ultimate sacrifice of their lives to protect the innocent and to give the rest of us the rights we have today.
We Will Remember.
Lest We Forget.
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